Day 1: Want your Child to become an Emotionally Healthy Adult?
I’ve noticed many weigh in on what it means to raise “emotionally healthy” children lately. I do not claim expertise in work with children (although yes, I do have experience with them), but I do know what I see when I work with adults. When folks brave the internal work in therapy that is actually transformative, we tend to work with their child or younger parts. These versions include the younger selves who were not allowed to grieve, who did not feel seen, and who were not allowed the range of their emotions. In essence, the parts of us that are most wounded are the ones that have likely not been allowed to grieve.
So if you ever wonder how to support a child, one of the most valuable things you can do is to allow them the chance to grieve when they need to. Allow them to grieve the big. The small. The things they don’t understand, the things they cannot control, and the things that are unfair.
Children already know how—they just need us adults to not bring our own fears of grief to the room.
Allow children to express their emotions. They already know how.
Allow them to feel seen. They already know how to ask.
Allow them to have their own experiences. They don’t care how it’s been for generations before. Allow them the range of their emotions. This is one of the greatest gifts you can provide that ultimately builds up their tolerance for distress, which is the foundation of resilience.
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